sigh .. everything seems to be changing. the way i talk to him last night is so different, i have hurt him so deep. sigh , why did i give him attitude in the 1st place?!?! WHY!!! i don't knOw what he's thinking nOw, he may be still fuming with anger with my fucking attitude or very hurt by what i done to him?? i really don't know.
i'm not a good girlfriend.

i'm such a failure as his stead. he's someone so wonderful, yet i'm not. he deserve's someone better, but i made his life worse. i feel that i'm a burden in his life. i don't want to lose him badly . i really don't . i'm afraid one day, if he really have a girlfriend . . .

all my trouble in my heart are pilling up . but there's no one to help me . i can't comfront him , because i'm his burden. i can only express myself by bloging yet i can't express it to other's even him. i don't know why? maybe i don't have the guts to tell him? i really don't know.

is it true i'm not treasuring him? he's such a good guy . i'm already very lucky to have met him . yet , i messed things up... why did i have to behave in this way ? sigh . i'm really afraid of losing him , but i still have to let him go . he had enough of me . now , all my worries are kept in my broken heart . i wanted him to be at my side now . but it totally impossible . sigh. what type of girlfriend am i..?

i just want him to have all his attention to me . but not in maple or anyone . can't i have more attention ? i'm his girlfriend!! i'm in a mess . . my heart is brokening . . my head is aching . i'm lost .. will he be there for me ?? help me my angel!!

everything's over..

all i want him to know is : bear , i'm sorry for all i have done . all my attitude and behaviour. i know i kept saying sorry but still keep repeating my mistake time and time again . i'm just sorry for not learning the right way to cherish you . not showing you how i love you in the right way.. sigh.. i just wanted more attention from you. wanted you to bring me out and have fun rather then staying in your house all day long. i wanted to be like normal couples like going out together, having fun together. i wanted you to bring me to school while your in your holiday fetch me home from school. but i felt as though maple is your everything. i love you but i didn't show you my love. i just want to hold your hand and be with you through out my life. sigh. . i love you.. don make 040304 a memoriies. i just want you and only you.. sigh..

that day in your hp i saw you have save weiling num in your recent calls. she have call you a few weeks ago. but you are still saving her num. that day really makes me no mood. i don't know whether you still like her or what. i'm just v upset and have attituded u that day.

i'm so jealous of you studying with your fren outside. but you just refuse to study with me outside. i feel so upset. maybe you just want to stay at home and play your maple barrhx..

everything is over.
i'm trying my best to take it calmly but i can't.
i still love him so much.

but i respect his decision.
so now , please don't tell me about love.


AMANDAstaySTRONG

everything is over.

xiiaobennzhu <33*.
2:22 AM